Date night!

Who would have thought it?! Hubby and I actually had a dinner out; just the two of us! We have both spent a little time away from our daughter before (hubby mostly) but this was the first time we had been out together since she was born and it was really special.

We love our little unit and haven’t felt a desperate need for us to do something without our daughter. Especially since we do enjoy cuddling down on the sofa, with a TV show and popcorn in the evening which is our time together; just us. 

We were planning on going out for dinner to celebrate our second wedding anniversary when the idea of a date night popped into my head. I’m really pleased that I did. I was so excited by the idea of quality time with my husband. No worrying about trying to make conversation while being constantly distracted by crying, feeding etc. Time just for us.

It truly was a lovely evening. We went to a very small but beautiful restaurant we found not too long ago and just enjoyed each others company. I think we will need to start having the odd date night here and there because while our family unit is important, so is the foundation of our relationship and we need to give it time too. I am already looking forward to when we next get the opportunity!

Although I must admit, I did like receiving the updates from my mother on how they we’re getting on at home! 

Wife and mother, x

Advertisements

Naps, wherefore art thou?

So apparently my daughter no longer seems to want to nap during the day. I feel this is a decision that she is not actually ready for and one that I am certainly not ready for!

Napping has never been her strong foot. From the beginning she fought sleep like a pro and I have had a battle on my hands. Some days even as a small infant, she would not sleep all day. Family would remark in amazement and let me assure you, it was not for lack of trying to get her down. Fast forward a little bit and we finally managed to get into a routine where there would be a morning nap and an afternoon nap. Neither for very long, we’re talking around about half an hour but it would get us through the day.

Around about her first birthday she dropped a nap. It switched between a morning or an afternoon nap for a while, until it eventually settled down to mornings. It was a longer nap, around about an hour sometimes an hour and a half. This was working very well! It gave her enough energy to make it through the afternoon but meant that she was still tired enough for bed in the evening.

Well that all changed just over a week ago! Suddenly she will just not sleep. We can spent an hour or so (at nap time), lying in a dim room with stories and mummies milk…and nothing! Bright as a button at the end of it! I have spent a couple of days continually trying throughout the day to put her down and yet still no sleep. A problem we’re facing is that the two days she has managed a nap, it has been at around about four pm. Not good. That’s far too late for a nap because then she doesn’t sleep until around about eight in the evening.

So to be honest, I have no clue what’s happening anymore. I wish I could get her to sleep at a good time as I can see she is tired! I wish I knew why she fights sleep so much. I worry that she is too young (just over one) to be going all day without a nap but I’m not sure what else to try!

Truly hoping that in a week from now I can say this was a blip and that she is napping well and is a happier bunny but I guess we will just have to wait and see. The bags under my eyes are definitely darker now too!

Wife and mother, x

Problem solved!

Everyday we are having the same battle with our daughters winter woolies. They don’t last very long before they are on the ground and if we are lucky, we may have noticed in time!

Well today we had forgotten her mittens, which made us feel like terrible parents since it was the coldest day we have had yet. Then I remembered we had a spare pair of my mother in laws gloves still in the car from their last visit. If she won’t keep mittens on, there is no way she will keep adult gloves on, I hear you say! Well, I also remembered we had sellotape in the car too!

Yes, we sellotaped the gloves onto our child!

Before you pass judgement though, let me tell you, we had 100% success (not that I’m recommending you sellotape your children’s clothes on)! The gloves stayed on for the whole walk and she didn’t even attempt to pull them off. It was wonderful! Although let the record show, we made sure it was loose enough around her wrists that it wouldn’t hurt her.  The only thing that was a bit tricky was the removal of the gloves but we also had scissors with us; which of course we used extremely cautiously.  

I’ve never been so thankful for forgetful in laws and and my disorganised wrapping of presents in the car! Problem solved!

Wife and mother, x

Mind in overload!

Life has been pretty crazy as of late which has been magnified by the fact that both my daughter and I have had a cold that has well and truly outstayed its welcome! Our to do list is longer than the length of me and while I may be short…that’s still pretty long! It just feels like we are just managing to keep our heads above water with daily chores. I’m sure things will calm down once we are feeling better and although the list will still be rediculously long, we will be at least working on it. 

My husband and I bought our house a few years ago and while there was nothing  needing done to it; there were a few things we would have liked to have renewed or made our own. I was thinking about the jobs that we intended on doing earlier today and then looked at what we had accomplished… not a lot! Not that we are lazy but there is just always something more important to be doing or a better way for us to spend our money. It has left me feeling a little blue tonight though, as I just don’t know where to find the time. I have paint cans sitting waiting to be used but by the time our day is in full swing, I just don’t know where I would slot it painting a wall, let alone a room. 

Anyway I don’t want to throw myself a pitty party, so I’ll stop! 

It has been such a wonderful time with our daughter. She is growing so fast and I can hardly take my eyes off her for a second. For two reasons, one – she is such a monkey and two – she is just too cute! Her understanding is just incredible and I spend the day saying, “how amazing is she?!” to my husband, who of course can’t help but agree.

She is so steady on her feet now which has resulted in a desire to walk everywhere. I don’t mind too much but it can be tiring if we get so far and she decides that she wants to be carried but equally our buggy is hard to push while trying to keep hold of her so often I risk it. I am looking forward to when I can use the reins properly as I think that would definitely help!

Animal obsession doesn’t even cover it for this girl! We love to play, what does the (insert animal here) say? Her knowledge of animals grows constantly and I love listening to her make all the different noises and signs. 

Signing is coming along steadily too. She doesn’t know many yet but she is using a few everyday now. Things like, animals, milk and bed are among the most used. I think that now she is getting older it will probably get easier to teach her.

In other news, I still have babies on the brain! After that whole, was I pregnant thing, I must admit that I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t feel as sad now. I was so weepy for a couple of weeks but now I feel more level headed about it and while I am still disappointed, I know that everything happens for a reason. My husband and I were planning on trying again next year but I just don’t know if I can wait that long. It has definitely become a huge topic of conversation in our household. I still worry about having too small an age gap between children though and I worry about breastfeeding…would I have to “cut her off” so to speak?

Have you experienced breastfeeding during pregnancy? How did you manage? Also did you continue to do feeds for your older child while nursing your newborn? My mind is in overload trying to consider everything!

Wife and mother, x

Not pregnant.

It’s funny how you can not realise how much you want something until it happens or the thought of it happens. Although we would like more children, I have not felt ready for another child after having such a bad experience with my first pregnancy. The idea of making that step has felt like such a scary idea. 

Yet here I am. Disappointed that I am not pregnant. Disheartened that my body tricked me or worse that I lost something before I could even celebrate it’s existence. 

About two months ago I completely missed my period and while we are not trying to convince, I knew that no method of contraception is a 100% effective. Something we have never been concerned with as we would always welcome a baby. At first I thought I was just late and then I wondered if it was hormones but it never came. 

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I knew I was pregnant right away but while I didn’t feel pregnant, I was having some of the same symptoms I had with her. Firstly, I had spotting. That’s something unusual for me and my first thought was pregnancy. I was exhausted, in fact, I said to my husband that I had not been this exhausted  since had been pregnant. I was nauseous, something I suffer with often anyway but it was pretty extreme nausea that hit at the same time every day. I had stomach cramps and was ridiculously emotional. Like crying during children’s TV emotional! Anyway the list goes on but you get the idea. Something felt off in my body. So while I didn’t feel pregnant, I knew that every pregnancy is different and maybe I wasn’t going to have that “feeling”. 

I decided about a 10 days after my missed period to take a pregnancy test. By this point I was pretty excited at the idea that I could be pregnant. I knew if I was that far along, I would have a pretty blazing positive, so I didn’t bother about waiting until morning. I was so nervous and excited. I didn’t tell my husband I was doing the test so that I could surprise him with it. However there was no positive. 

I instantly felt upset. Seeing a negative after feeling like I could be pregnant was devastating. I told my husband and I tried to put it out my mind. I kept having strange cramping in my stomach but still no period. I also still had all these strange symptoms and I was still incredibly emotional. I knew some women had to get a blood test to show pregnancy so I planned to phone the doctor if my period didn’t show up within the following month. 

A couple more weeks passed by and I finally bled. Although it wasn’t my normal period. It was very different and that’s when I wondered if maybe I had been pregnant but it wasn’t viable. After a couple of weeks or so, I started to feel more normal again. When I spoke to my mum about it, she also thinks I may have been pregnant but regardless of whether I was or wasn’t, I still feel sad that I am not. I feel sad that my body and mind convinced my that I was.

In a funny turn of events, I found out my sister is pregnant! I could not be happier for her but I must admit that I have a pang in my heart. It would have been wonderful to have shared this journey with her. I’m so excited to be an aunt though and I look forward to when we do have our next child. 

In some ways it has been a blessing as I have been so torn about our next child. Maybe I needed to go through this experience to realise that I am ready or that regardless of my first pregnancy, I would still cherish my next without any fear. God has a funny way of answering your fears and maybe this was the overall quieting that my heart needed. Maybe I’m ready to try for another baby now. We’ll just need to wait and see what happens next. 

Wife and mother, x

Homeschooling…

Now I know my daughter won’t be going to school anytime soon (she just turned one) but the dilemma of whether or not to homeschool is going through my mind a lot already. We spend a good chunk of every day doing some from of art, music and signing/speech development. Not for any other reason than the fact that I enjoy the time we share doing these activities and I love watching her develop.

I don’t feel the decision of homeschooling is one I want to take lightly so I guess that’s why I am allowing myself to start the investigation process now, even though we are a few years off. Even before we had children I knew it was something I would want to consider when the time came. Not that I don’t believe there aren’t good schools/teachers out there, as I’m sure there are. However, I also think that there is a lot to gain by home educating.

I love the idea of being able to be a part of my children’s learning. To help them understand the world around them and develop skills that will see them through life. I love the idea of spending the time together and knowing that all their questions are being answered. 

Although I would be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about such a huge undertaking, especially when there were a few age groups to teach simultaneously. I also worry about social skills, would the lack of peer time really hinder their development as people try to deter you? Would there be a level of education that I would have to send them to a state school to achieve?

There is a lot I need to research but I’m looking forward to finding out how I feel about it once I have all the information in front of me. I have started speaking to friends that homeschool and others that were home schooled themselves. It’s interesting hearing stories from both sides.

I suppose this is another huge question I can add to the “decisions I must make as a parent” pile. Just like many other questions, I guess there will be no right answer. We will just have to make the most informed decision we can and hope we made the correct choice. 

What are your thoughts on homeschooling? 

Wife and mother, x

Mummy helpline

Being a parent is hard. No question! Until that point you just had to make decisions for yourself or maybe a pet but now you are responsible for this tiny little human and it can be overwhelmingly terrifying. 

I’m generally a calm person who is quite confident in what I’m doing but there is no panic like that you feel when there is something wrong with your baby and you don’t know what to do! I can remember countless times where I have frozen while I madly debate in my head what on  earth I should do. Do I call someone? Should I go somewhere? Help?! Yet here I sit with my child peacefully sleeping in a house of calm (for the moment).

The truth is that there are constant scares along the way. Some bigger than others. However, we manage. Then the next time it happens we are that little bit more prepared and steadily it becomes something we can take in our stride.

I had a cousin call for some advice on their baby today. Something that was a similar experience to what I had with my daughter when she was little and the funniest thing happened. We spoke for a while and the more we spoke, the more I recalled the fear of the first time. Something that over time became “normal” but made me break down in tears at the time. Then it made me think of all the other frights we have had this past year. Things that made me feel sick to the stomach, yet I know I could handle calmer now if they were to happen again. Now that I know roughly what to expect, how to handle it, when to ask for help etc…

I loved the fact that I got a call for advice. It’s amazing how sharing your experiences about the same or similar thing, can make you both feel better. It’s comforting to know that someone lived through it, that someone has felt that terrified and helpless but it passed. That you’re not crazy for ringing the doctor again or continually taking your child’s temperature. We have all been there for one reason or another and probably will be again.

So I think one of the most valuable tools is your mummy helpline. Those friends/family that you call upon for guidance but importantly reassurance because being a parent is hard. Full stop!

Who do you call upon for support and advice? 

Wife and mother, x