Date night!

Who would have thought it?! Hubby and I actually had a dinner out; just the two of us! We have both spent a little time away from our daughter before (hubby mostly) but this was the first time we had been out together since she was born and it was really special.

We love our little unit and haven’t felt a desperate need for us to do something without our daughter. Especially since we do enjoy cuddling down on the sofa, with a TV show and popcorn in the evening which is our time together; just us. 

We were planning on going out for dinner to celebrate our second wedding anniversary when the idea of a date night popped into my head. I’m really pleased that I did. I was so excited by the idea of quality time with my husband. No worrying about trying to make conversation while being constantly distracted by crying, feeding etc. Time just for us.

It truly was a lovely evening. We went to a very small but beautiful restaurant we found not too long ago and just enjoyed each others company. I think we will need to start having the odd date night here and there because while our family unit is important, so is the foundation of our relationship and we need to give it time too. I am already looking forward to when we next get the opportunity!

Although I must admit, I did like receiving the updates from my mother on how they we’re getting on at home! 

Wife and mother, x

Problem solved!

Everyday we are having the same battle with our daughters winter woolies. They don’t last very long before they are on the ground and if we are lucky, we may have noticed in time!

Well today we had forgotten her mittens, which made us feel like terrible parents since it was the coldest day we have had yet. Then I remembered we had a spare pair of my mother in laws gloves still in the car from their last visit. If she won’t keep mittens on, there is no way she will keep adult gloves on, I hear you say! Well, I also remembered we had sellotape in the car too!

Yes, we sellotaped the gloves onto our child!

Before you pass judgement though, let me tell you, we had 100% success (not that I’m recommending you sellotape your children’s clothes on)! The gloves stayed on for the whole walk and she didn’t even attempt to pull them off. It was wonderful! Although let the record show, we made sure it was loose enough around her wrists that it wouldn’t hurt her.  The only thing that was a bit tricky was the removal of the gloves but we also had scissors with us; which of course we used extremely cautiously.  

I’ve never been so thankful for forgetful in laws and and my disorganised wrapping of presents in the car! Problem solved!

Wife and mother, x

Noodle our awesome poodle

‚ÄčI often talk about how wonderful my daughter is and how wonderful my husband is but I must admit, I think I have the most wonderful dog in the world too!

Noodle has been from the beginning, a loving and gentle soul. He was such a playful puppy and to be honest, still is. Nearing 4 years old, he still loves nothing more than running around and playing with you. He will adore you even more if you bring out a ball. He definitely  has a ball addiction which while is not uncommon for a dog, I think is pretty cute.

He has been on my mind a lot because he has been really frustrating as of late. Yet another reason we think it was a chemical pregnancy because jumping all over me, is an understatement! He was like that when I was pregnant with our daughter too. Very excited all the time, wouldn’t leave me alone and unfortunately very frisky! Which is all fine and well until he tries to hump your child! We were not laughing! He has been neutered though, so goodness knows why this reaction happens. Anyway much like me, things have also settled down with him. It is so lovely to have the happy but calmer version of our dog back.

However, the reason I bring up how amazing I find him is for two reasons. 

Firstly he is awesome because he saved our daughter’s mitten! Tis the season for wrapping up warm and for children all over to be throwing hats, gloves, mittens etc out of the moving buggy without us realising until too late. Well she did just that the other day and I didn’t have a clue where her missing mitten was. A piece of a woolen set that we were just given from my sister! After searching for ages, I suddenly remembered I had Noodle with me. I gave him the other miten to smell, asked him to “go find” and off he went to the mittens rescue. He found it within minutes of me asking, super dog! I was so thankful!

Secondly he puts up with an awful lot from our daughter. She is (on the whole) gentle but lets face it, she is a one year old who doesn’t realise that pulling his hair might actually hurt him. Noodle adores her though and will take everything she throws at him (sometimes literally) in his stride. Just earlier today she was bouncing balloons off of him, which of course was not sore but definitely annoying…he just lay there, probably thinking what a funny little human she is. They love chasing each other around the room and he would lick her all day if he could. It is a very sweet bond. 

I guess I just don’t want to take his place in our family for granted and while his mood has been challenging recently, I could not imagine our life without him. He is one special little guy!

Wife and mother, x

Mind in overload!

Life has been pretty crazy as of late which has been magnified by the fact that both my daughter and I have had a cold that has well and truly outstayed its welcome! Our to do list is longer than the length of me and while I may be short…that’s still pretty long! It just feels like we are just managing to keep our heads above water with daily chores. I’m sure things will calm down once we are feeling better and although the list will still be rediculously long, we will be at least working on it. 

My husband and I bought our house a few years ago and while there was nothing  needing done to it; there were a few things we would have liked to have renewed or made our own. I was thinking about the jobs that we intended on doing earlier today and then looked at what we had accomplished… not a lot! Not that we are lazy but there is just always something more important to be doing or a better way for us to spend our money. It has left me feeling a little blue tonight though, as I just don’t know where to find the time. I have paint cans sitting waiting to be used but by the time our day is in full swing, I just don’t know where I would slot it painting a wall, let alone a room. 

Anyway I don’t want to throw myself a pitty party, so I’ll stop! 

It has been such a wonderful time with our daughter. She is growing so fast and I can hardly take my eyes off her for a second. For two reasons, one – she is such a monkey and two – she is just too cute! Her understanding is just incredible and I spend the day saying, “how amazing is she?!” to my husband, who of course can’t help but agree.

She is so steady on her feet now which has resulted in a desire to walk everywhere. I don’t mind too much but it can be tiring if we get so far and she decides that she wants to be carried but equally our buggy is hard to push while trying to keep hold of her so often I risk it. I am looking forward to when I can use the reins properly as I think that would definitely help!

Animal obsession doesn’t even cover it for this girl! We love to play, what does the (insert animal here) say? Her knowledge of animals grows constantly and I love listening to her make all the different noises and signs. 

Signing is coming along steadily too. She doesn’t know many yet but she is using a few everyday now. Things like, animals, milk and bed are among the most used. I think that now she is getting older it will probably get easier to teach her.

In other news, I still have babies on the brain! After that whole, was I pregnant thing, I must admit that I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t feel as sad now. I was so weepy for a couple of weeks but now I feel more level headed about it and while I am still disappointed, I know that everything happens for a reason. My husband and I were planning on trying again next year but I just don’t know if I can wait that long. It has definitely become a huge topic of conversation in our household. I still worry about having too small an age gap between children though and I worry about breastfeeding…would I have to “cut her off” so to speak?

Have you experienced breastfeeding during pregnancy? How did you manage? Also did you continue to do feeds for your older child while nursing your newborn? My mind is in overload trying to consider everything!

Wife and mother, x

Not pregnant.

It’s funny how you can not realise how much you want something until it happens or the thought of it happens. Although we would like more children, I have not felt ready for another child after having such a bad experience with my first pregnancy. The idea of making that step has felt like such a scary idea. 

Yet here I am. Disappointed that I am not pregnant. Disheartened that my body tricked me or worse that I lost something before I could even celebrate it’s existence. 

About two months ago I completely missed my period and while we are not trying to convince, I knew that no method of contraception is a 100% effective. Something we have never been concerned with as we would always welcome a baby. At first I thought I was just late and then I wondered if it was hormones but it never came. 

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I knew I was pregnant right away but while I didn’t feel pregnant, I was having some of the same symptoms I had with her. Firstly, I had spotting. That’s something unusual for me and my first thought was pregnancy. I was exhausted, in fact, I said to my husband that I had not been this exhausted  since had been pregnant. I was nauseous, something I suffer with often anyway but it was pretty extreme nausea that hit at the same time every day. I had stomach cramps and was ridiculously emotional. Like crying during children’s TV emotional! Anyway the list goes on but you get the idea. Something felt off in my body. So while I didn’t feel pregnant, I knew that every pregnancy is different and maybe I wasn’t going to have that “feeling”. 

I decided about a 10 days after my missed period to take a pregnancy test. By this point I was pretty excited at the idea that I could be pregnant. I knew if I was that far along, I would have a pretty blazing positive, so I didn’t bother about waiting until morning. I was so nervous and excited. I didn’t tell my husband I was doing the test so that I could surprise him with it. However there was no positive. 

I instantly felt upset. Seeing a negative after feeling like I could be pregnant was devastating. I told my husband and I tried to put it out my mind. I kept having strange cramping in my stomach but still no period. I also still had all these strange symptoms and I was still incredibly emotional. I knew some women had to get a blood test to show pregnancy so I planned to phone the doctor if my period didn’t show up within the following month. 

A couple more weeks passed by and I finally bled. Although it wasn’t my normal period. It was very different and that’s when I wondered if maybe I had been pregnant but it wasn’t viable. After a couple of weeks or so, I started to feel more normal again. When I spoke to my mum about it, she also thinks I may have been pregnant but regardless of whether I was or wasn’t, I still feel sad that I am not. I feel sad that my body and mind convinced my that I was.

In a funny turn of events, I found out my sister is pregnant! I could not be happier for her but I must admit that I have a pang in my heart. It would have been wonderful to have shared this journey with her. I’m so excited to be an aunt though and I look forward to when we do have our next child. 

In some ways it has been a blessing as I have been so torn about our next child. Maybe I needed to go through this experience to realise that I am ready or that regardless of my first pregnancy, I would still cherish my next without any fear. God has a funny way of answering your fears and maybe this was the overall quieting that my heart needed. Maybe I’m ready to try for another baby now. We’ll just need to wait and see what happens next. 

Wife and mother, x

Mummy helpline

Being a parent is hard. No question! Until that point you just had to make decisions for yourself or maybe a pet but now you are responsible for this tiny little human and it can be overwhelmingly terrifying. 

I’m generally a calm person who is quite confident in what I’m doing but there is no panic like that you feel when there is something wrong with your baby and you don’t know what to do! I can remember countless times where I have frozen while I madly debate in my head what on  earth I should do. Do I call someone? Should I go somewhere? Help?! Yet here I sit with my child peacefully sleeping in a house of calm (for the moment).

The truth is that there are constant scares along the way. Some bigger than others. However, we manage. Then the next time it happens we are that little bit more prepared and steadily it becomes something we can take in our stride.

I had a cousin call for some advice on their baby today. Something that was a similar experience to what I had with my daughter when she was little and the funniest thing happened. We spoke for a while and the more we spoke, the more I recalled the fear of the first time. Something that over time became “normal” but made me break down in tears at the time. Then it made me think of all the other frights we have had this past year. Things that made me feel sick to the stomach, yet I know I could handle calmer now if they were to happen again. Now that I know roughly what to expect, how to handle it, when to ask for help etc…

I loved the fact that I got a call for advice. It’s amazing how sharing your experiences about the same or similar thing, can make you both feel better. It’s comforting to know that someone lived through it, that someone has felt that terrified and helpless but it passed. That you’re not crazy for ringing the doctor again or continually taking your child’s temperature. We have all been there for one reason or another and probably will be again.

So I think one of the most valuable tools is your mummy helpline. Those friends/family that you call upon for guidance but importantly reassurance because being a parent is hard. Full stop!

Who do you call upon for support and advice? 

Wife and mother, x

One year old at a funeral…

Recently a good friend passed away which meant, of course, a funeral to attend. I not so long ago had a family funeral to attend which after much deliberation, I decided to take our daughter to. I wrote a post before and after the experience which actually went very well. Our daughter slept through the service and was pleasant throughout the cuppa afterwards. So you can understand why I was quietly confident that this funeral should be no different. 

Well this one was not as smooth. I decided to arrive about an hour early so that I wasn’t stressed about timings. I let my daughter have a wee play in the car, then some milk and then popped her into her buggy and went for a walk. She fairly promptly fell asleep. Going well, I hear you say…I thought so too.

We then filtered in with everyone else and was in the middle of finding a spot which was suitable for quick exit if need be, when she woke up! I tried to give the pram a rock but it was too late and she started to cry. The service was beginning so I had to make a quick dash out of the main room.

My dear friend was much loved so there was a spill of people out in the hallway. I found a seat there and pulled out some toys for her to play with quietly. Unfortunately she was having none of it. The service had barely begun and she was crying again. I then strayed a little further away from everyone and paced in a corridor but yet again, it didn’t work.

My last hope was a small room off of the corridor. My daughter loves walking with some assistance so that is what we did…for the whole service. We just continually looped around the room, sometimes changing route to keep it interesting for her. Thankfully it amused her enough that she stayed quiet and I was still able to hear what was being said.

While it really wasn’t the easiest situation, I was grateful that I still managed to listen, sing and ultimately say my goodbye to my friend. Although I do wish I’d been a little less stressed. I was later reassured by others that my daughter didn’t disturb anyone, so not to worry which was very kind.

I don’t regret taking my daughter with me to the funeral but I definitely think it was a lot harder than I was expecting. Those few months of age did make a difference and I imagine it will only get more difficult. I sincerely hope that we don’t have another funeral to attend for a long time!

Wife and mother, x