Recently a good friend passed away which meant, of course, a funeral to attend. I not so long ago had a family funeral to attend which after much deliberation, I decided to take our daughter to. I wrote a post before and after the experience which actually went very well. Our daughter slept through the service and was pleasant throughout the cuppa afterwards. So you can understand why I was quietly confident that this funeral should be no different.
Well this one was not as smooth. I decided to arrive about an hour early so that I wasn’t stressed about timings. I let my daughter have a wee play in the car, then some milk and then popped her into her buggy and went for a walk. She fairly promptly fell asleep. Going well, I hear you say…I thought so too.
We then filtered in with everyone else and was in the middle of finding a spot which was suitable for quick exit if need be, when she woke up! I tried to give the pram a rock but it was too late and she started to cry. The service was beginning so I had to make a quick dash out of the main room.
My dear friend was much loved so there was a spill of people out in the hallway. I found a seat there and pulled out some toys for her to play with quietly. Unfortunately she was having none of it. The service had barely begun and she was crying again. I then strayed a little further away from everyone and paced in a corridor but yet again, it didn’t work.
My last hope was a small room off of the corridor. My daughter loves walking with some assistance so that is what we did…for the whole service. We just continually looped around the room, sometimes changing route to keep it interesting for her. Thankfully it amused her enough that she stayed quiet and I was still able to hear what was being said.
While it really wasn’t the easiest situation, I was grateful that I still managed to listen, sing and ultimately say my goodbye to my friend. Although I do wish I’d been a little less stressed. I was later reassured by others that my daughter didn’t disturb anyone, so not to worry which was very kind.
I don’t regret taking my daughter with me to the funeral but I definitely think it was a lot harder than I was expecting. Those few months of age did make a difference and I imagine it will only get more difficult. I sincerely hope that we don’t have another funeral to attend for a long time!
Wife and mother, x