Mirror mirror on the wall…

I had a great exercise class this morning and I am really feeling the benefit of them now. Between the exercise classes, running and chasing after a child all day, I have noticed a huge difference my stamina and over all fitness. I’m starting to really feel my muscles engaging again which is good as I am working them hard! Suddenly I’m remembering to use my stomach muscles regardless of the task which in turn helps my back.

Yes, I am feeling good. I am feeling much more like myself again. Fitter, healthier and just excited to live each day with energy. As someone who has spent most of my life as (what my siblings would call) an “exercise freak”, I am loving to regain such a big part of my identity. 

The problem with stamina, mind and body is the fact that my stamina is doing great, my mind is feeling energised and healthy, yet… why is my body letting me down?!

I know this is very harsh on myself as I’m just getting back to exercise after such a long time out yada yada…but I’m struggling with the fact that I can feel my muscles working. I can feel my fitness gaining. I can see the hours I am spending exercising and the distance I am running…and then I catch myself in a mirror.

I don’t think I look any different yet. It’s so disheartening.

When I set out on this path back to health after recovering from a baby and complications in recovery I said I wasn’t going to focus on scales since there wasn’t much “weight” that I needed to lose (also still breastfeeding) and instead I would focus on how visually my body was changing. I have been very good about the scales and hardly ever step foot on them as I just don’t care about the number. It’s just a number. Quite frankly it’s my stomach that’s the problem. 

I can see some toning around my arms and legs redefining themselves but despite working my stomach, there isn’t any noticeable difference. 

It’s just as well my attitude to fitness is that it is a part of my life as if I was treating it as a quick fix or diet, I’m pretty sure this is where I would feel tempted to throw in the towel! 

While I’m disheartened by my stomach, I’m going to just have to focus on the fact that at some point I will begin to see a difference and for now I’ll just have to enjoy all the differences I can feel. I guess if I had to choose…I’d rather feel fit with a mummy tummy than be skinny and breathless climbing the stairs (or at least I’ll tell myself that)! I’ll get there eventually.

Wife and mother, x

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