Baby planning?

We are probably not the only couple out there that struggle with knowing what sort of age gap we would like to aim for between our children.

We both come from big families although there is a small gap between siblings on my husband’s side and a larger gap on mine. This makes it a little harder as we have seen both the pros and cons of the different gaps.

We originally thought we would aim for a two year age gap between our children but looking at our almost 11 month old baby, it makes me wonder if we really would want to be trying for another so quickly? Will another 5 months make all the difference?

I will need to explain my pregnancy/labour/postpartum in another blog as it’s too much too write here. Long story short, I had a very sick pregnancy with complications during labour followed with a very slow recovery afterwards. I think the whole experience has left me a little afraid of being in the same position again. I definitely want more children but there is now a… what if?

I know realistically that I may be absolutely fine during my next pregnancy; feel ravenous and grow nicely however there is that little voice in the back of my mind… what if I am just as sick next time around and I would have a toddler to look after too! How on earth would I cope?

There are still some questions I need answered when it comes to my options next time around in regards to delivery and pain relief however again realistically it should be alright since the odds are the same thing will not happen again…but what if it did? To be so immobile for so long afterwards or to potentially be in a worse position?

I guess I’ll know when I’m ready, regardless of the timescale we like. I suppose I’m just concerned that I let my fears get the better of me and end up putting it off; not because I am not ready but because I am afraid. 

I would love to hear what age gaps others have had and how they feel it works for them. Also if you had an unpleasant experience with a pregnancy/labour, how did you manage your fears next time around?

Wife and mother, x

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