Rough times ahead?

I wish life was rosy all the time; unfortunately that isn’t the way it works. We were never promised an easy life.

We have faced some pretty rough times over the years and with today brings the loom of another potential tidal wave. Sitting with my phone beside me, I am anxiously awaiting news that I hope is good but am frightened might be bad. It is funny how the more time that passes, the more the feeling of doubt manifests. Waiting is torture.

I started today so sure that the report back from my sibling would be that of positive news and that I wouldn’t be waiting long to hear it. There is a saying “commonest is commonest” and I truly believe that. While it might be easy to quickly type your symptoms into a search engine; the results are often vast and scary. Generally speaking more things turn out to be not quite as awful as we first fear, although that isn’t always the case. I guess that is when the fear sets in.

I am incredibly close to my family so the thought of any potential pain coming to one of them is just sickening. It is the not knowing that is worst. I don’t know whether it is something that will be laughed out of the appointment or something that is easily treatable or whether this could be a total life changer. I suppose what is really important is how we deal with the outcome. I believe in the strength that we can provide each other, so I know that we can face whatever comes our way together.

Well this blog was meant to provide a distraction for myself. An outlet for my busy mind. I was hoping that by the time I had finished writing this, I would have had an update and could delete all the concern and start afresh but unfortunately there is still nothing.  So I will just need to continue the wait another way.

Wife and mother, x

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