So today is another day. Another day full of a hundred jobs that need doing; not that I will make it through ten!
My daughter is not a good sleeper which can be very difficult at times. Thankfully I don’t do too badly on reduced sleep but I am by no means live and kicking either! Standing in a shop the other day I spent a good 5 minutes staring at the card reader with a complete blank mind. The shop assistant was very kind and waited patiently as I rummaged around all the empty spaces and cobwebs in my mind until I finally found it. I am lucky I did!
Now while I get told by some that this is has always been common place for them; this is not something I am used to. I could easily repeat every pin for every card my husband and I owned until I had my little one. I have changed in so many ways since having my baby and my memory is definitely one of them. Although I feel a lot of blame can be put on lack of sleep. Certainly by the end of the day you would get a more coherent conversation with the dog!
I can literally be mid sentence and…nothing! Blank! *sound of crickets*
Not that people aren’t used to it by now. I tend to laugh it off but I do find it incredibly frustrating! I think it is most annoying when I am with people who don’t know me so well. People who I want to make a good impression on or even new mummy friends. Although they are the most understanding of all, probably because they don’t quite remember what sleep is either!
I don’t like to make presumptions however I know I can 100% say that I am not the only mother out there who wishes that their baby would sleep more. More frequently, more soundly, longer… I know (or am pretty sure) that if my babies sleep improved then I would feel more like myself again. To not feel like the walking dead would be lovely.
It’s just as well we love our children so much. I would take a thousand sleepless nights (and probably will) if it meant I had my beautiful baby girl. Thankfully she doesn’t mind if my hair is a mess, whether I could actually be bothered to find matching socks in the morning or if I can remember the pin number for my card. All she wants is love and attention and I can definitely do that.
So on days like today when my eyes are heavy, I already know I am going to be making little sense to those around me but at least I have my precious girl. I am sure I am not alone in my dopey state, all I can hope for is a better night tonight.
Wife and mother, x
P.S. If this blog is topsy turvy, then it’s the lack of…erm…you know what I mean!